Life Update

Happy Tuesday!

After taking a break from blogging, I thought I would return to share my little rambles on the internet again. For over a year now, this has been my little space on the internet to share the things I've been loving, information about myself (The British Tag) and my own thoughts on daily life and perceptions of beauty (I'm not perfect). My friend Lisa, left the loveliest comment after I posted that which reminded me exactly why I spend my time typing and posting online content which only small numbers of people read.

I've made it to my second semester at University. I'm actually surprised that I'm still here. I found it hard to settle in at the beginning. It can become quite a lonely place for someone like me who would rather be in their pyjamas by 9pm reading or watching TV rather than getting ready for those 'messy nights out' that people say they're going to have on Yik Yak.

I have heard fighting and chanting outside of my window at all hours which proves to me that I am never going to be the party animal.

I have eventually made friends who have actually accepted that I may be a little bit awkward and say some embarrassing things that I come to regret very quickly. Abby has put up with having to hear about Christmas from November onwards in the first semester (sorry), and Kelsey sends me little messages on a regular basis just to remind me to chill cause she knows that at that moment, I will probably be stressing about one thing or another.

I've come to quickly love the city that I'm studying in. York always has so much going on from the illuminations, beautiful ice sculptures in December and little markets in the Shambles. Street acts and people dancing whilst being dressed as Vikings makes me feel that I am finally living somewhere that is bursting with life. Compared to my home back in Lincolnshire, such a small city feels like somewhere where you can get loose yourself for hours.

University is actually starting to pick up again. Reading so much in so little time is always a struggle as it always will be. I have to motivate myself to turn off the TV in my room and put down whatever random novel I'm reading for pleasure and pick up my compulsory reading such as a non-fiction novel about Hurricane Katrina or The Oxford Book of English Verse which one minute I'm actually starting to like and for the rest of the time, it reminds me that nothing worth having comes easily (that includes a degree in English Literature!)

Having to do a presentation today gave me a huge sense of pride and achievement as things are actually starting to go well for me. I remembered why I love my degree so much and why, despite wanting to leave on several occasions, I made the right choice to not get a single train ticket straight back home when everything was so overwhelming.

Part of the moderation process meant having to perform my presentation with a camera filming me. I thought my anxiety would stop me from being able to do this but I was so surprised that I actually felt strangely comforted by the camera. This was a pleasant surprise and helped everything to fit into place and finally make sense. Months of being unsure of what I wanted to do made me feel as if my degree was lacking direction and I was lacking motivation towards an ultimate end goal that I didn't have.

I have found my comfort place and strangely that was in the company of a camera and tripod. I would like my future career or hobby to encompass this. In the short term, I received a high 2:1 for that assignment and couldn't be happier.

To conclude, I just wanted to say that I'm back again and I look forward to blogging more frequently.

Take care,

Mcsophwar xox