Pages

Friday, 12 February 2016

Broken Shower, Meetings & Too Much Laughing

Happy Friday!

After a rather long post yesterday with my semester reading list, I thought I would  end today with a more light hearted and lifestyle type post that you hopefully won't fall asleep reading!

So, Today started with the shower breaking in my accommodation. When people hear that I live in one of the most expensive University buildings, I am always seen to be living the life of luxury but the reality is quite different. Yes, It is nice having a TV and a double bed, but at the same time, having sensors that go off every 5 seconds leaving you in darkness struggling to get your clothes out of the closet and months of no sleep due to very noisy builders can leave you incredibly irritable. Did I mention that builders just walk in at any time (even at 8am when you're trying to lie in) just to tell you that they need to check on your bathroom fan (that still doesn't work) or the radiator that smells like burnt toast.

Anyway, my day started an hour late due to the shower not working. Turning it on and nothing happened. I suffer from very greasy hair making me need to wash it everyday for it just to look presentable. The problem did finally fix itself and I made my way to my meeting at University.

I can't say much about the meeting but It went very well. This is one of the things I love about my University. The staff are so approachable and helpful. If you can't make their office hours, they try to meet you at an alternative time. Talking things through really helped and listening to someone who actually knew what they were talking about really put things into perspective. Everyone seems to get to know your name and truly care about you and your studies. That's why picking a smaller university was best for me. I wanted to be seen as an individual and not a number.

The afternoon consisted of a dreaded poetry seminar (deep breaths). I find poetry difficult and sometimes impossible to figure out. I was not feeling optimistic about this but I was really quite wrong to do so. The poem was quite interesting to analyse and working in groups lead to some very interesting and comical interpretations!

Secondly, a lovely girl came and joined our group. I recognised her from one of my modules last semester but never had the opportunity to speak to her. She is hilarious! Having someone alongside me that actually understands my strange thought processes was great. By the end of our session we were talking about our food habits (it was after lunchtime) and half way through the seminar, we were raising our eyebrows at each other, having little inside jokes and laughing until we couldn't breathe!

Sorry for this ramble but I thought I would share what happened today and how University helped to give me a boost. The importance of friends can be underestimated but really shouldn't be. A little pick me up and a friendly face can help make things seem bearable even if that is 'To His Coy Mistress'.

If you're thinking of going to University and are worrying that you won't make friends, don't worry. As long as you're willing to talk to people, you'll make friends. Let's face it, if there's people out there that can put up with me, there's loads of people that will adore you!

I'm off now to drink my milk and eat Oreos (I'm obviously taking full advantage of the student life!)

Hope you have an exciting weekend,

Mcsophwar xox

Thursday, 11 February 2016

University Reading List: Semester 2

Happy Thursday,

I started back at University on 25th January so although this post is slightly late, I still thought I would document what I have to read for my second semester at University. For those of you that don't know I study English Literature at such a beautiful city and a friendly University.

I'll include some initial thoughts on each text though if I've already read one of the books on the list, I shall rate it and mention it in my belated January wrap up post that will be coming within the next week.

It is worth me just quickly noting that I'm taking three compulsory modules which are Reading Texts 2, Contemporary Writing and Gender and Writing. I have also picked my modules for second year which was very exciting but also a major struggle. Anyone that knows me will know that I'm a worrier, I always panic about making the wrong choices and regretting things. Plus, I am so indecisive making it all so harder to commit modules that I will not be studying until September and even January 2017!

The Oxford Book of English Verse- Christopher Ricks

6 weeks of poetry is the hell that I have to endure- I have to take some very long and deep breaths when I have to pick up this monster of a book! We have to read, compare and analyse particular poems for lectures and also analyse and read other poems for our seminars which all depends on who our lecturer is. Each week has a particular theme so it's all linked together.

I've had to read a mixture of poetry including Shakespeare, Marlowe, Drayton, Donne, Coleridge and Keats.

Wow! I have just named so many literary geniuses which massively intimidate me. I am quite thankful that (so far) I haven't had to read right at the beginning of the book because I'm pretty sure it isn't written in English or any understandable language!

Bonjour Tristesse- Francoise Sagan

I haven't read this book yet though I have had a quick look at the back cover. It's about a girl who lives with her widowed father, who eventually decides to remarry and things don't quite work out.

I have the Penguin Modern Classics edition so it also contains 'A Certain Smile' which sounds so interesting though I don't have to read that for University!

The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas- Ursula Le Guin

I have never heard of this and have no idea what this is about. We have 8 weeks of the semester plus Easter break before studying this so I'm not panicking just yet. We have access to a PDF of the text so I'm guessing it's a short read so we can print it off.

The Tell- Tale Heart- Edgar Allen Poe

Again, we can read this online. I haven't yet read any Poe, but I'm really looking forward to it. From what I've heard it encompasses the gothic and horror genre plus physical disturbance which are themes which massively interest me.

At the discretion of our seminar tutor, we made have to read additional texts to compare with this text but I don't have information on that until nearer the time.

Sonny's Blues and Going to Meet the Man-James Baldwin.

One includes the themes of masculinity and music and the other will allow us to focus on Blues and New York.

Why is it that all the reading that I'm looking forward to is at the end of the semester?

Miss Julie- August Strindberg (Full review in January wrap up post)

I'm sure after studying this more and watching a adaptation, I will start to enjoy this more. It was a fairly which read which is also advantageous, but I did find the plot quite dull.

The Grapes of Wrath- John Steinbeck

I have tried to avoid reading this novel for far too long now. I've read around 70 pages so far. I am enjoying it plus I am quite interested in the key themes of the text, but it is quite slow going, requires lots of motivation and is nearly 500 pages long (Goodbye, Weekend!)

The Fat Black Woman's Poems- Grace Nichols

I am guessing that this poetry collection is fairly contemporary compared to The Oxford Book of English Verse so that'll be a refreshing change. Actually feeling optimistic about having less reading that week after getting through Steinbeck!

The Edible Woman- Margaret Atwood

I've heard so much about Margaret Atwood and her literary brilliance. Looking forward to reading this text though the edition I've brought is not very nice. You know what they say, don't judge a book by its cover!

Trumpet- Jackie Kay

One of the last texts I will be studying during this semester and one I'll be excited to analyse and go to the sessions on. It's a book about love and the feelings of the heart so I hope it'll be a touching novel instead of a cliché.

Wall-E- Andrew Stanton

Although this is not a novel, it is one of the many films that we are required to watch and analyse for our course. Overall, I found parts of the film to drag along due to the lack of dialogue. After the seminar on it, I have fallen in love with this cute little robot and everything he stands for. As he tries to save the world, it is touching that he acts in more of a humane manner than the actual humans who become passive due to technology. This film made my perspectives change in terms of the environment and our classifications of what is human and what is not.

Zeitoun- Dave Eggers

We spent one week discussing this non-fiction novel which follows a family during Hurricane Katrina. The father, Zeitoun, who owns a contracting company, stays during the storm to try and fix the broken city and help others by going round in his canoe.

Animal's People- Indra Sinha

I haven't heard great reviews on this text but the lecture was really enjoyable and was comical but I suppose that was because of the way in which the lecturer delivered it. Context is important to consider when looking at this novel. There's some strong language included throughout and is a lengthy read.

Zoo City-Lauren Beukes

Changes have been made to our study of this text as it is increasingly difficult to source right now. Currently, this text in English, has gone out of print so there have been many people accidentally ordering the French or German version, like my friend Abby who must have sourced the book in the wrong language about 5 times.

Refugee-Sophie Nicholls

Don't really know much about this as we can access this text online so I haven't had to research into buying it and have a look into it.

In this World- Michael Winterbottom

This is another film that we have to watch. From buying the DVD, it doesn't look particularly interesting but I suppose I'll know when I buy a DVD player or Disc Drive so I can watch it.

On Black Sisters' Street-Chika Unigwe

Seems a very interesting text but also has some upsetting themes in so I will find it interesting to see how this book is focused upon in seminars and during lectures.

Enron-Lucy Prebble

I was hoping that we would be studying another text by Lucy Prebble which was focused upon psychology. Instead, this book focuses on the themes of loss and greed during a financial scandal. It does sound interesting and hopefully will not be too dry.

FreakAngels-Warren Ellis and Paul Duffield

The final text of our contemporary writing module.

If you've read this long post then I'm very appreciative.

Take care,

Mcsophwar xox



Wednesday, 10 February 2016

I should be reading!

Happy Wednesday,

The only skills I'm developing today are procrastination and managing to function on as little sleep as possible. Next week is quite a heavy reading week for me but as a literature student, there's always reading to do whether it's required reading or additional. Arriving to the seminars having not completely finished a text makes me feel like a complete failure even if I have prioritised reading over sleep (this happened last semester when reading Frankenstein) and to top that all of, being surrounded by people who share your love for reading means you hear about amazing books which my eyes and hands want to gravitate to despite being nothing  to do with my degree at all. Oops.

On a positive note, I finished University earlier today as the Gender and Writing lecture was cancelled due to a staff illness. This is the first time that this has happened and after looking up the slides online, I am a tad disappointed that it was cancelled. Sometimes I wonder if I even study English or not as these slides appear to be written using words I didn't even know existed and terms that would be helpful for history, psychology or politics students but just add to my confusion. Tomorrow is the seminar and it's extremely awkward when you can barely understand something without even attempting to analyse it. Plus I only know two people there and one is the lecturer and there's another presentation looming!

For next week one of the texts that I have to read is John Steinbeck's 'The Grapes of Wrath'. I picked this text for my A2 comparative essay but only focused on the beginning after I realised how long it would take me to read and analyse something that is near the 500 page mark and is in quite small print. Just thinking about this task makes me feel even more tired by the minute. I can sit here regardless of how little I have slept, and read a book of my choice or watch Netflix, but as soon as I pick up a set text, my brain tells me that it's time to eat, go for a walk, sleep, listen to music, check social networks- basically anything that causes me to put the book firmly back on the shelf.

I suppose it's the little things I have to reward myself for. Reading 20 pages of a text that I feel like I've been reading for hours and hours is the type of dedication and perseverance that makes me feel accomplished especially when I finish it and can add what I've read towards my 2016 reading goal.

The weather in York was also beautiful today. I wore a dress, coat and a backpack (I would insert an image if I had one but I want your screen to remain intact) which is very me but also out of my comfort zone. At least I look like I've got things together.

So I'm off now to eat, organise, write notes, watch Pretty Little Liars and perhaps read at some point too!

Hope you're having a lovely week,

Mcsophwar xox

Tuesday, 9 February 2016

Life Update

Happy Tuesday!












After taking a break from blogging, I thought I would return to share my little rambles on the internet again. For over a year now, this has been my little space on the internet to share the things I've been loving, information about myself (The British Tag) and my own thoughts on daily life and perceptions of beauty (I'm not perfect). My friend Lisa, left the loveliest comment after I posted that which reminded me exactly why I spend my time typing and posting online content which only small numbers of people read.

I've made it to my second semester at University. I'm actually surprised that I'm still here. I found it hard to settle in at the beginning. It can become quite a lonely place for someone like me who would rather be in their pyjamas by 9pm reading or watching TV rather than getting ready for those 'messy nights out' that people say they're going to have on Yik Yak.

I have heard fighting and chanting outside of my window at all hours which proves to me that I am never going to be the party animal.

I have eventually made friends who have actually accepted that I may be a little bit awkward and say some embarrassing things that I come to regret very quickly. Abby has put up with having to hear about Christmas from November onwards in the first semester (sorry), and Kelsey sends me little messages on a regular basis just to remind me to chill cause she knows that at that moment, I will probably be stressing about one thing or another.

I've come to quickly love the city that I'm studying in. York always has so much going on from the illuminations, beautiful ice sculptures in December and little markets in the Shambles. Street acts and people dancing whilst being dressed as Vikings makes me feel that I am finally living somewhere that is bursting with life. Compared to my home back in Lincolnshire, such a small city feels like somewhere where you can get loose yourself for hours.

University is actually starting to pick up again. Reading so much in so little time is always a struggle as it always will be. I have to motivate myself to turn off the TV in my room and put down whatever random novel I'm reading for pleasure and pick up my compulsory reading such as a non-fiction novel about Hurricane Katrina or The Oxford Book of English Verse which one minute I'm actually starting to like and for the rest of the time, it reminds me that nothing worth having comes easily (that includes a degree in English Literature!)

Having to do a presentation today gave me a huge sense of pride and achievement as things are actually starting to go well for me. I remembered why I love my degree so much and why, despite wanting to leave on several occasions, I made the right choice to not get a single train ticket straight back home when everything was so overwhelming.

Part of the moderation process meant having to perform my presentation with a camera filming me. I thought my anxiety would stop me from being able to do this but I was so surprised that I actually felt strangely comforted by the camera. This was a pleasant surprise and helped everything to fit into place and finally make sense. Months of being unsure of what I wanted to do made me feel as if my degree was lacking direction and I was lacking motivation towards an ultimate end goal that I didn't have.

I have found my comfort place and strangely that was in the company of a camera and tripod. I would like my future career or hobby to encompass this. In the short term, I received a high 2:1 for that assignment and couldn't be happier.

To conclude, I just wanted to say that I'm back again and I look forward to blogging more frequently.

Take care,

Mcsophwar xox

Saturday, 7 November 2015

Starting a YouTube Channel?

This is one of the things I've really wanted to do in the past few months.

I've now been blogging for over a year and for the past few months now, YouTube has been increasingly on my mind. It seems to be popular to have a YouTube channel and many start a blog as a gateway to creating video content.

Then there's me. I had no intention at all of ever doing YouTube.

When I started this blog back in 2014, I started to absolutely love my little place on the internet. I could just type away my thoughts and share with you what I've been doing and what I've been loving.
 Last year,when I visited London, I created a montage type video and had so much fun with that too and started considering making videos myself.

I do have silly little reservations about it hence why I don't have a  YouTube channel yet.

Nonetheless, I want to write blog posts on things that I have enjoyed writing on and what you hopefully will enjoy reading. I have some exciting posts planned and hopefully I'll get round to doing those and improving my blog for you all.

Watch this space and you never know, tomorrow might be the day where I finally let go of my fears and then click upload on my first ever YouTube video!

Thanks for reading,

Mcsophwar xox


Wednesday, 14 October 2015

University Reading List: Year 1 Semester 1

Hi,

Despite the fact that I've already been at University for several weeks, it still feels so surreal to say that I'm a University student.  I am studying the modules Reading Texts 1, Writing for Academic Success and Forms of Narrative this semester.

I've decided that it would be a good idea to post my reading list for this semester for me to look back on but also for those of you who like reading or are thinking about studying a degree in English Literature.

Note: This list is just the required reading for the first semester of my first year. I'm also expected to do secondary reading in addition to the texts posted here.

Reading List

Behind the Scenes at the Museum- Kate Atkinson
Northanger Abbey-Jane Austen
The Importance of Being Earnest- Oscar Wilde
Twelfth Night- William Shakespeare
Metamorphosis- Franz Kafka
Metamorphoses- Ovid
101 Sonnets- Don Paterson
Tenth of December- George Saunders
Top Girls- Caryl Churchill
Frankenstein- Mary Shelley
Never Let Me Go- Kazuo Ishiguro
Room- Emma Donoghue
The White House, If We Must Die & America- Claude McKay
The Destructors- Graham Greene
The Yellow Wall-Paper- Charlotte Perkins Gilman

Films: Vertigo-Alfred Hitchcock & Hero- Zhang Yimou

Thanks so much for reading & I'll post again soon

Mcsophwar xox

Sunday, 6 September 2015

I'm not perfect

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to tell you all that......

I'M NOT PERFECT

But I'm ok with that. Today and throughout my life, I've had many comments from people about not being pretty enough,being too shy, being stupid or being too fat.

Even today I was messaging someone and I didn't understand one of the words they used. When I asked, they replied with "so stupid. You are gona have troubles at uni in fact I can't imagine how you got there".

I may not know all the words in the English dictionary but it's ok for me not to know that.

I may not have achieved A*'s in my GCSE's or A levels but all I did was try my very best and that's all I could do. Some days whilst studying for my A levels, I would study at Sixth Form all day, come home, eat something out of a packet, shower and then spend the rest of the day doing homework, reading textbooks or revising (that includes all of the hours that I should've been sleeping too). It wasn't healthy at all but what I thought I was being the 'perfect' student when in reality the best I would get is a B and I'd sit at home feeling absolutely heartbroken that I wasn't not one of the high achievers neither was I able to apply to study at Oxbridge. I wasn't happy and I couldn't carry on like that.

But what I did was perfect in my own way. I got a place at my firm choice university and this time next week, I will have moved into student accommodation and will be the first person EVER in my family to go. I'm very happy with what I've achieved.

I may not be the girl that gets all the compliments or be 'thin enough' but to me it no longer matters. I have smiled while people sent me horrible messages about my looks and I tried to be strong when people that I thought were my friends teased me about my weight, haircut and pretty much everything else they could think of.

I decided to write this post today to let you all know that I've changed but I've changed for the better. I'm not perfect but I never was and I'm never going to be. I've accepted myself for who I am and to anyone else who is struggling I just wanted to tell you that....

YOU WILL GET THERE! Ignore everything that people say about you unless it's something that puts a smile on your face. They don't know who you are and those that say bad things deserve to have zero influence over what you do and how you feel about yourself.

Thanks so much to everyone that reads my posts. After a break, I am back blogging again and I love it <3

Mcsophwar xox